Holy Thursday and What it was ounce.

   

     The road to Easter for me and my family starts on Holy Thursday. Holy Thursday represents the last supper the night Judas betrays him.   On Holy Thursday I would set out with my mother to the 8pm mass. Even though mass started at 8 we would have to get there at 7:30. Why you ask, because it would get so crowded there would not be anywhere to sit. Now a days I could get there 7:55 and there will be more than enough room, sad but true. At church we would meet my aunt (My father’s sister), my Godmother and her daughter Maria. We all sat together on the side of Saint Joseph.  Years ago, we had a monsignor, who was fantastic. He started as a priest when I was in elementary and confirmed me when I turned 13, a long, long, time ago. Years ago, you did your first confession before conformation. I went to him for my first confession and he told me to sit by the 5^th station of the cross and say the Hail Mary.

The 5^th station is an important one, it is when Simon helps Jesus carry his cross. It is the station of kindness, someone giving another a helping hand when they need it the most. Somethings just stick out in your mind, from that point I always felt like the number 5 was my lucky number. Any way our monsignor was fantastic, on Holy Thursday he would always give the mass.  During the mass at one point the chorus would start singing “Do you know what I have done for you” and you knew it was time for the Monsignor to get on his knees, and like Jesus did that holy night, he too would wash the feet of 12 parishioners.  The chorus would continue to sing “you who call me your teacher and your lord, If I have washed your feet so you must do as I have done for your" Watching him wash the feet of 12 parishioners brought tears to my eyes because it shows humility. No matter who you are, you are not better than the person next to you that you can't wash their feet or hold their cross. After the washing of the feet, the choir would start singing Pange Lingue while the priests started striping the alter and leaving it bare. 

I remember the first time I heard the song Pange Lingue song in Latin, it was so moving, and my mother new the song by heart. It blew my mind that she knew Latin. I remember being so in awe of her.  Back to the ceremony, the Monsignor would rap himself holding the Chalis with the body of Christ inside.  With incense filling up the church, the altar boys would start the procession, behind them wee  all the priests, decans and last in line was the  Monsignor all the way in the back.  Every fifth pew he would drop to his knees holding Crist in his hands. It brought so much emotion.  You actually felt like Jesus was walking to his death. The procession would flow out of the church and we would follow to the catholic school next door. The school would be dark, filled with candles, the choir would still be singing  pange lingue and we all would silently sit. The body of Christ carried by the Monsignor would enter and placed on a temporary altar until good Friday.  The night is so emotionally moving you can't help but feel something spiritual. 2020 has changed our traditions and Holy Thursday is just not the same. Hopefully someday we will go back to our traditions and maybe the sheep will come back to the flock. 

God, can I get a do over?

 

    

The holidays were over, but the aftermath was just beginning.  There is always a pile of gifts to return and never at the same stores. 

Yes, some of us still go to physical stores and shop. I like walking into a store and figuring out where should I go first. Should I look at jewelry, something for the house or clothing. I will just walk around for hours, and maybe I'll pick up a candle, smell it and just put it back down. You can't do that online, you can't smell the fragrance of perfume, soap or candles.  I will pick up a sweater and feel the fabric and decide if I like how, it feels not just how it looks. Online you can't feel the cotton on your skin, you can't see the actual shade of the black dress, you're just buying a picture.  I also like chit chatting with the salespeople or complaining to the other buyers online about various topics. On the internet check out there is nothing but a button that says purchase. No one to talk to except yourself. So, as you can guess I prefer to shop in person you never know what you will find and who you will run into. 

 It was a Wednesday morning, and I had my day planned.  I was heading towards the bank, then the dollar store, then TJ max, then the loft and then make my wat to e food store.  I had my daughter's birthday that I wanted to plan for while I ran around returning gifts.  Before I headed out to the stores I needed gas in the car.  I decided to go to the gas station on the way to the bank. 

 When I pulled into the gas station, I pulled into the wrong side of the pump. I always forget which side my gas tank is on. I was contemplating if I should pull through and go to the other gas pump on the opposite side.  Before I can do anything, a car pulled head-to-head with me so I couldn’t pull away.  I was so mad, If I was a cartoon, you would see smoke coming out of my head.  I yelled at the women thanks a lot now how am I going to get out. She just looked at me like to bad. I put my car in reverse and went on the other side to put gas in my tank.  She got out of her car, and I went crazy on her. I said "you are so rude, you blocked me in, how am I supposed to get out.  I can’t believe how arrogant you are. You saw me sitting in my car. Why didn't you pull in back of me? " I completely lost my mind over nothing.  After she put gas in her car, she pulled out sand stopped to apologize but I still couldn’t except it. I said yeh yeh have a good holiday.  I was fuming over what I don't know. I got into my car and went to the bank, tried to shake the bad feeling off but couldn't. As I was driving to the dollar store, I said God I wish I could start this day over, I wish I hadn't act like that towards that woman. I started crying because I couldn’t believe the way I treated that women. What kind of person am I? I proceeded to the dollar store, and the people behind me on the line were so nice. We had such a great conversation they made me laugh, but I still could not shake the awful feeling.  My next stop was TJ Max. I was going to go to TJ Max to return slippers, but I realized I didn’t have them with me, so I had to go home. 

I went home got the slippers and drove back to TJ Max.  The line at the store was extremely long so I walked around hoping the line would get shorter.  I browsed through the beauty section, the shoes department, the jewelry and back to the cloths. About half an hour later, out of the corner of my eye I saw the women I had fought with at the gas station. I can't describe the feeling that came over me.  It was almost like a spotlight had come over my body and I started to cry, I went up to her and tapped her on her shoulder.  She recognized me and I could tell she was taken back.  I said " I am so sorry for the way I acted.  Please accept my apology".  She said I'm sorry to, but I kept saying you have nothing to apologize for it was my fault. Please accept my apology, she said thank you.  We then said goodbye and I went online to return my slippers. I cried all morning because what are the odds of me running into the same women twice in one day.  I originally was going to go to TJ Max after the dollar store but went home instead. I could have gotten on the long line and waited but I didn't. I asked God for a do over and he put me at the right place at the right time so I can have one.