Questions Within

 

Questions Within

Where do you go

When your World is full of Corners

Where the floors and ceiling are one?

The doors have all been closed

and there you sit without a chair.

How do you stand

When your feet are your hands

and your nails are digging into your toes?

There you roll without any clothes.

Somewhere through the keyhole

A wider vision is seen.

But how can you see

If your eyes are your ears?

Close your mouth

                         listen through your heart                   

                                                                            and the door will open.

                                                                    If the feeling is within your soul.

                                                                       

                                                                          By Angela Mantovani Perri

                                                                         Illustrated by Lee Anne Chiulli

It's all about the dress or is it?

Every girl dreams of the day, she finds her prince, falls in love and gets married. Finding the perfect one wasn’t easy for me.  At 37 I had kissed a few frogs and heard a lot of Bull. Then one day at a christening party there he was.  Our first date was two weeks later, I was sure he wasn’t going to call but thank god he did.  We went to dinner at Dodice’s, after dinner played a game of pool at the billiard, and then ended the night at the piano bar for a glass of B&B.   That was the beginning.

                One year later we got engaged, yes some say it was too soon but what were we waiting for? We were both in our late 30's.

When you know you just know.  So it began the scavenger hunt.

Find a hall (Chateau Briand)

Flowers (Pedestals)

Limousines (Royalties)

Tux, brides maid and groom gifts and of course the honeymoon booked (Hawaii)

And then most important the hunt for the dress.

My mother and I started at Lillette’s, and ended there. I tried on 20 gowns give and take.

There was a gown, it was 100% silk, with princess sleeves, not too low of a neck line (too old to be bold) plain with no applications just plain.

We had found the dress.

My Mother cried and so did I, something though felt like it was missing.

I was talking to my friend Denise one day and I mentioned that I wanted a bride doll.  

My Bridal Shower was in March, My mother picked the place me and John had the night ter we got engaged La Palma.

The shower was beautiful but something was missing. There was a dais for me and my bridal party to sit. In the middle of the table was my doll.  It was a Madam Alexander doll dressed in a bridal gown with a tiara,  holding my bouquet of flowers.    

“Denise the doll is gorgeous thank you so much.” I said

“I took a picture of your dress and had my husband’s seamstress make the dress and sow it for the doll” Denise said.

I could not believe she went through that trouble and work for my doll.

I said “that was so nice of you, the only thing is they must have shown you the wrong dress. My dress does not have all that work on it.  It’s plain with no design.”

Denise said “no this is the one they showed me. I shrug my head and went on having another drink to toast the occasion.

Six weeks before my wedding the phone rings at work It’s the manager at Lillette’s.  

“ Hi Angela, I’m calling you because we have a problem with your dress” She says

My heart fell to my stomach.  “ what kind of problem”  I asked

“The dress came in but it’s not the one you ordered.” The woman said. “please come down and look at the dress, the designer cannot make the dress in time for your wedding”

At that point I felt jinxed.  The dress coming in wrong was a bad sign.  I wanted nothing to do with the dress. I wanted the one I ordered and that was that.

Diane who sat next to me at work was trying to talk to me but I could not stop crying.  My boss tried to calm me down but the tears would not go away.

I went home that night and cried to my mother, my brother my aunt anyone who called the house I would cry .  John tried to tell me not to worry but all I could hear is the wrong dress is here.  Us Italians we think everything happens for a reason, and my reason was doomsday. Then my godmother Maria called she worked at Lillette’s and said, I saw the dress it is beautiful, I know how you feel but come in you never know.

So the next day I left work early and went to try on the wrong dress.  The dress had appliqués  going from the bottom of the dress to the middle just like the doll.  My dress came in exactly like my dolls dress.  I tried it on and I felt like a princess in it.  My tears of sorrow had turned into tears of joy.  All the woman that were down stairs were all so happy for me.   They told me they were not going to charge me more than my dress cost.  The one that came in was much more expensive because of the work and design.  I was happy.

The next day I went into work  and told Diane what happened and she said “maybe that was the dress your Dad wanted you to wear”  I Thought about it and said maybe.  All along I was trying to down play my wedding because something was missing and maybe that was his way of saying I’m here.  

Friends come and go but some stay for lunch

Friends come and go but some stay for lunch

Some people that you meet in your journey of life are there just to be witnesses and  some are there to assist in your life's journey.  Friendship is like a marriage, it has its ups and downs but if you care about the relationship you stick with it and fight for it.  Just like every other relationship.
The first companion in my journey I met in third grade.  Her name is Denise(but we call her D) and one day at lunch she asked me to trade sandwiches.  No one had ever wanted my lunch before.  D had tuna fish on white American bread and I had Mortatella with provolone on My moms home made bread.   We traded lunch that day and have been having lunch ever since. My friend  Maria was friends with Denise first and I became friends with her through Denise. We met Cathy in High School nineth grade.  She had just moved into our town and became friends with another friend of ours Diane.   Forty two years later and we are all still haveing lunch together. My friends are a  part of my family.  We went to each other’s sweet sixteen; we were part of each other’s wedding party. We supported one another through the deaths of our parents and the births of our children.  What makes us such great friends is that we honestly care for one another.  We don’t envy each other and  we are happy for the good things in one another’s life. Just like families we have our disagreements but we get over it and move on.  I was the last to get married (late bloomer) and buy a house.  I love having my own place, I love company and entertaining. Since my children are smaller than everyone else, I have them come over my house it’s easier.

One Thursday afternoon my three besties came over for lunch.

Maple Glazed Ham, Smoked Turkey and Imported Mortadella

Bologna and White American Cheese

Fresh Bagels

Angela’s balsamic vinaigrette garden salad

We wouldn’t be Italian if we didn’t have pastries for dessert

You can't have dessert without some coffee

We sat around the table eating, talking and laughing.  We always have a great time when we are together.

That day  I used paper plates so it would be easier to clean up.   We sat at the kitchen table in the corner, the windows were closed no wind blowing in the room.  As we talked the plate in front of Denise slid by its self over to where Maria was sitting.  Cathy did not see it move. The three of us on the other hand stopped talking looked down at the plate and just asked out loud “did you see that?” We laughed shook our heads and then Denise said “is the coffee ready?”. I served the coffee we ate dessert ignoring what just happened.  Please someone give me the check.