Dream With Your Soul: It's all about the dress or is it?

Dream With Your Soul: It's all about the dress or is it?: Every girl dreams of the day, she finds her prince, falls in love and gets married. Finding the perfect one wasn’t easy for me.  At 37 I ha...

It's all about the dress or is it?

Every girl dreams of the day, she finds her prince, falls in love and gets married. Finding the perfect one wasn’t easy for me.  At 37 I had kissed a few frogs and heard a lot of Bull. Then one day at a christening party there he was.  Our first date was two weeks later, I was sure he wasn’t going to call but thank god he did.  We went to dinner at Dodice’s, after dinner played a game of pool at the billiard, and then ended the night at the piano bar for a glass of B&B.   That was the beginning.

                One year later we got engaged, yes some say it was too soon but what were we waiting for? We were both in our late 30's.

When you know you just know.  So it began the scavenger hunt.

Find a hall (Chateau Briand)

Flowers (Pedestals)

Limousines (Royalties)

Tux, brides maid and groom gifts and of course the honeymoon booked (Hawaii)

And then most important the hunt for the dress.

My mother and I started at Lillette’s, and ended there. I tried on 20 gowns give and take.

There was a gown, it was 100% silk, with princess sleeves, not too low of a neck line (too old to be bold) plain with no applications just plain.

We had found the dress.

My Mother cried and so did I, something though felt like it was missing.

I was talking to my friend Denise one day and I mentioned that I wanted a bride doll.  

My Bridal Shower was in March, My mother picked the place me and John had the night ter we got engaged La Palma.

The shower was beautiful but something was missing. There was a dais for me and my bridal party to sit. In the middle of the table was my doll.  It was a Madam Alexander doll dressed in a bridal gown with a tiara,  holding my bouquet of flowers.    

“Denise the doll is gorgeous thank you so much.” I said

“I took a picture of your dress and had my husband’s seamstress make the dress and sow it for the doll” Denise said.

I could not believe she went through that trouble and work for my doll.

I said “that was so nice of you, the only thing is they must have shown you the wrong dress. My dress does not have all that work on it.  It’s plain with no design.”

Denise said “no this is the one they showed me. I shrug my head and went on having another drink to toast the occasion.

Six weeks before my wedding the phone rings at work It’s the manager at Lillette’s.  

“ Hi Angela, I’m calling you because we have a problem with your dress” She says

My heart fell to my stomach.  “ what kind of problem”  I asked

“The dress came in but it’s not the one you ordered.” The woman said. “please come down and look at the dress, the designer cannot make the dress in time for your wedding”

At that point I felt jinxed.  The dress coming in wrong was a bad sign.  I wanted nothing to do with the dress. I wanted the one I ordered and that was that.

Diane who sat next to me at work was trying to talk to me but I could not stop crying.  My boss tried to calm me down but the tears would not go away.

I went home that night and cried to my mother, my brother my aunt anyone who called the house I would cry .  John tried to tell me not to worry but all I could hear is the wrong dress is here.  Us Italians we think everything happens for a reason, and my reason was doomsday. Then my godmother Maria called she worked at Lillette’s and said, I saw the dress it is beautiful, I know how you feel but come in you never know.

So the next day I left work early and went to try on the wrong dress.  The dress had appliqués  going from the bottom of the dress to the middle just like the doll.  My dress came in exactly like my dolls dress.  I tried it on and I felt like a princess in it.  My tears of sorrow had turned into tears of joy.  All the woman that were down stairs were all so happy for me.   They told me they were not going to charge me more than my dress cost.  The one that came in was much more expensive because of the work and design.  I was happy.

The next day I went into work  and told Diane what happened and she said “maybe that was the dress your Dad wanted you to wear”  I Thought about it and said maybe.  All along I was trying to down play my wedding because something was missing and maybe that was his way of saying I’m here.  

Dream With Your Soul: My wish for Mother's day

Dream With Your Soul: My wish for Mother's day: When asked what would I like for mother’s day. My wish would be to hold you both in my arms for the first time. To rock you bot...

My wish for Mother's day

When asked what would I like for mother’s day.

My wish would be to hold you both in my arms for the first time.

To rock you both back and forth singing over the rainbow so you would fall asleep.

I would love to re live that moment when you looked at me from your crib and giggled.

To smell your hair right after a bath.

To hold your little hands while you took your first steps.

What I wouldn’t give for you just to run to me from your first day of nursery smiling and laughing.

To be able to dress you, brush your hair and take you with me where ever I go.

My wish would be to do it all over again and again.

I hope that one day I will see you celebrate mother’s day and feel the unconditional love that I feel for you.

All I want for mother’s day is what got me here in the first place to spend my day with you.

The Glowing Runner

A glowing runner 

A blue ball that floats through the air

Children  are so innocent

They believe with their hearts

They don't  question what they see or hear.

 Dusk was setting in 

Dinner had been prepared, served, and eaten.

The dishes were being hand washed (by me of course)

A warm Breeze was blowing in from the back door. 

It all seemed so suriel when a little voice screamed 

 “ Mommy, Mommy, there is a man glowing, running through our yard”

“What? “ I asked with disbelief

“ come see Mommy” she said frantically and pulled me to the back door.

There was nothing there.

"you probably thought you saw something but it was most likely a bird or a firefly" I said and brushed it off.

Dream With Your Soul: Friends come and go but some stay for lunch

Dream With Your Soul: Friends come and go but some stay for lunch: Friends come and go but some stay for lunch Some people that you meet in your journey of life are there just to be witnesses and  some are t...

Happy Fathers day Papa, you will always be in my heart.

I am strong
Because you let me fall

 

I am caring
Because you gave me your hand

I am funny because you made me laugh

I am important

Because you listened

I am loved

Because you gave me your heart

I am who I am
Because you let me be me

Happy Fathers day Papa, you will always be in my heart. ( se sempre nel mio cuore) 

Happy Mothers Day Mom

I was 5 and my brother was 8 years old when we left Calabria and came to New York.  My Mom was 34 and my

Dad was 35. We lived in a small town in Calabria named Mongrassano. 

                    My Mother and Father were both born in the same town and knew each other their whole life.  In 1970

The economics in Italy were not good.  No one was paying my Dad and we had no money.  I remember my Mom

telling me they had to borrow money to pay for our Airline tickets to New York.  My Mom’s family was already in

New York, they had left Calabria in the early 60’s.  I can’t imagine what it was like for my parents to leave their

home, family, town, and their friends with two little children.  They only spoke Italian no English.  America was not

like it is today.  If you didn’t speak English it was up to you to get someone who can to translate for you. 

I wish I had the strength, focus and energy My Mother had when we were growing up. 

5am my mother would wake up make lunch for herself and my father and of course make coffee

6 am she would wake me and my brother up give us breakfast

6:30 am she would be on out the door and walking to her factory job where she sewed.

4 pm she walked back in the house clean up from the morning and get dinner started

6pm we would be finished with dinner she would then clean the dishes by hand sweep and wash the floor

7pm we would all watch wheel of fortune

                    I on the other hand

 6:30 am make coffee watch TV

7 am wake up the girls make them breakfast go back to watching TV

7:30 am run around make my kids lunch, scream and yell for everyone to get ready

8:00 run out of the house with my PJ to drive the kids to school (thank god for drop off)

8:05 procrastinate until 8:30 then

8:30 run around try to get ready for work

9:15 late again for work and I am only 2 minutes away

5 pm get home watch more TV until I figure out what I am going to cook

7 pm finish cooking ready to eat

8pm finish cleaning up

8:30  kids are in bed

9 pm I am in bed and surfing the net while I am listening to the TV in bed while my husband is sleeping

I admire My Mom I wish I can do half of what she did for me.  

She never complained, I never saw her sick if she was  we never knew.  Now as I am older and have two daughters I

can finally understand her. I have respect for who she is and what she did for our family.  Thanks to my mother I

was able to go back to work while she took care of my girls.

 I can never repay her for all she has done for me. 

Once in a while she will say you go crazy do so much with your kids I never did anything for you, and I say to her

What you did for me was enough I was happy.  I have no regrets all children want is their parents and I had them.   I

wrote this poem in 1982 for my Mom and 34 years later I am finally going to give it to her so here it is translated in

English. Happy Mother’s day to all.

 For the most Caring Mama,

Mama is a small name for you

The work that you do is much greater than you know

It's hard to always have the house clean and to go to work

With time my brother and I will be grown

When we were small we always called out your name

If we were sick we always shouted your name

And you always ran to us

I love you not only today but forever

Because you gave me life, helped me to see, to speak, and live

I know that we are not them same

It is difficult to get along all the time

I am from one generation and you are from another

And I know that at certain times I'm a Witch

Please forgive me

The word that is important is love

Mama I love you when I am at home

I Love you when I am at work

I love you where ever I am in the world

You have my heart forever.

Friends come and go but some stay for lunch

Friends come and go but some stay for lunch

Some people that you meet in your journey of life are there just to be witnesses and  some are there to assist in your life's journey.  Friendship is like a marriage, it has its ups and downs but if you care about the relationship you stick with it and fight for it.  Just like every other relationship.
The first companion in my journey I met in third grade.  Her name is Denise(but we call her D) and one day at lunch she asked me to trade sandwiches.  No one had ever wanted my lunch before.  D had tuna fish on white American bread and I had Mortatella with provolone on My moms home made bread.   We traded lunch that day and have been having lunch ever since. My friend  Maria was friends with Denise first and I became friends with her through Denise. We met Cathy in High School nineth grade.  She had just moved into our town and became friends with another friend of ours Diane.   Forty two years later and we are all still haveing lunch together. My friends are a  part of my family.  We went to each other’s sweet sixteen; we were part of each other’s wedding party. We supported one another through the deaths of our parents and the births of our children.  What makes us such great friends is that we honestly care for one another.  We don’t envy each other and  we are happy for the good things in one another’s life. Just like families we have our disagreements but we get over it and move on.  I was the last to get married (late bloomer) and buy a house.  I love having my own place, I love company and entertaining. Since my children are smaller than everyone else, I have them come over my house it’s easier.

One Thursday afternoon my three besties came over for lunch.

Maple Glazed Ham, Smoked Turkey and Imported Mortadella

Bologna and White American Cheese

Fresh Bagels

Angela’s balsamic vinaigrette garden salad

We wouldn’t be Italian if we didn’t have pastries for dessert

You can't have dessert without some coffee

We sat around the table eating, talking and laughing.  We always have a great time when we are together.

That day  I used paper plates so it would be easier to clean up.   We sat at the kitchen table in the corner, the windows were closed no wind blowing in the room.  As we talked the plate in front of Denise slid by its self over to where Maria was sitting.  Cathy did not see it move. The three of us on the other hand stopped talking looked down at the plate and just asked out loud “did you see that?” We laughed shook our heads and then Denise said “is the coffee ready?”. I served the coffee we ate dessert ignoring what just happened.  Please someone give me the check.